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20 August 2011
"A portion of your soul has been entwined with mine.
A gentle kind of togetherness, while separate we stand.
As two trees deeply rooted in separate plots of ground,
while their topmost branches come together,
forming a miracle of lace against the heavens."
~ Janet Miles
It seems like everyone has advice when you get married.
Don't go to bed angry. Learn to love the other's faults. Let go of the little stuff. Don't forget to put the seat down. Always keep the lines of communication open. Lots of sex and clean towels...
These are the most common gems of advice Sweet-D and I heard when we were getting ready to walk down the aisle.
And although all of the above advice is true (yes, even the towels part), the best advice came from the mother of my sorority (who also happened to be the officiant over the wedding). She said to us, "You are two separate people who are joining your lives together. Never lose who you are as an individual. Love the individual you married, but don't ever let them lose sight of who they are as a person. You become one, but you still stand on your own two feet."
It was truly the best advice anyone could have ever given us. It alone has driven us to this day.
Surprisingly, a lot of married couples we run into don't understand this concept. They question why I "let" my husband spend the weekend with his friends in front of the TV playing video games and watching anime. They don't understand how he can "let" me go to an off-Broadway show with a male friend who enjoys musicals as much as I do. Notice the quotation mark
The critics expect the other person in their own marriage to change, to give up the things they enjoy if the other person in the couple doesn't enjoy it in the same way. When one part of the pair wants to be an individual, that person must first seek permission from the other. Sometimes half of the whole will "let" the other live something without them. They r
The quote above says it most eloquently: "As two trees deeply rooted in separate plots of ground, while their topmost branches come together..."
It's a beautiful concept that if followed will really keep you grounded in a marriage. Two separate, individual lives who share one love. Two whole people who form one complete pair.
You may be wondering why, out of the blue, I'm talking about love and marriage. Well this is a very special day for a very special friend of mine - Derek Green.
You may remember me talking about Derek in the past. He's such an UnscriptedLife inspiration. His photos freeze moments of joy in time. He has this amazing ability to transform a romantic moment into a love story of its own.
Today, Derek will is writing another chapter in his own love story. He's marrying the beautiful Diane, who also happens to be quite a skilled photographer.
I thought today would be fitting time to showcase some of the images of love Derek and Diane have been capturing.
Congratulations you two! I can't wait to see your moments of love on this very special day!
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Of course, I have to leave today's beautiful bride for last. Debuting here on UnscriptedLife is Derek's love Diane!
From the entire Unscripted family, thank you for capturing the beautiful moments of life! Best wishes on your very wonderful wedding day! We love you both!
To see more of Derek and Diane's work, check out their Facebook page. And while you're there, give it a "like."
Comments
That's good advice about being individuals. It's worked for us, too.
And I agree wholeheartedly with your thoughts on marriage. Hubs and I are celebrating 25 years of marriage tomorrow and I can tell you we have NEVER used the word "let"!!
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