WTF Friday: Lessons From Mom

Written by Ivy | 06 May 2011

Welcome to the Mother's Day edition of WTF Friday!

As a mom, I can say this holiday, which just happened to start in my home state of West Virginia, has been fun so far. I'm looking forward to the day when I get homemade presents and genuine effort from my son, who is finally growing to appreciate holidays and special days in general.

This year, my husband, who I have to admit I thought would forget, told me that I am the boss this weekend. Whatever I want him to do, he will do. It's not uncommon for him to say that to me on Mother's Day and my birthday, but it is uncommon for me to accept. Usually, I'm pretty happy with just spending time with my family.

But this year, I have a to-do list a mile-long (of course it's on my iPhone, so it's hard to measure the exact length). I usually give Sweet-D one task at a time, since his work schedule is so hectic. That has resulted in a list that has been unchanged for almost six months now.

So what am I doing this Mother's Day? Cashing in that one-item to-do list and using the day as an opportunity to get some genuine work out of my family. Does that make me a mean mom?

I hope not, but it has to be done! Otherwise, I just might lose my mind.

In honor of Mother's Day, I wanted to have a little fun. I found this very funny post about lessons learned from mothers. I've seen something similar to this before, but it's worth posting here. I think everyone - moms, dads, sons and daughters - can relate to this.

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Momisms - aka Lessons Learned from Mom

APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE: "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

RELIGION: "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

LOGIC: "Because I said so, that's why."

TIME TRAVEL: "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

MORE LOGIC: "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

FORESIGHT: "Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident."

OSMOSIS: "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

CONTORTIONISM: "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!

STAMINA: "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

WEATHER: "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

HYPOCRISY: "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

CIRCLE OF LIFE: "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

ANTICIPATION: "Just wait until we get home."

MEDICAL SCIENCE: "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going that freeze that way."

HUMOR: "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

GENETICS: "You're just like your father."

MY ROOTS: "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

WISDOM: "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

ESP: "Put your sweater on. Don't you think that I know when you're cold?"

TO MEET A CHALLENGE: "What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you... Don't talk back to me!"

PATIENCE: "Sure, you can do that. As soon as you're 21 and leave the house!"

DIPLOMACY: "I don't want to hear who started it, it takes two to fight."

SHARING: "Play nicely with that or I'll just take it away from both of you."

ETIQUETTE: "Use your fork! If I see that hand on the table again, I'll slap it!"

ENVY: "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

TO THINK AHEAD: "If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job!"

HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT: "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

JUSTICE: "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

And... most importantly LOVE: "You know that whatever you do or whatever happens, I'll stand behind you because I love you."

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Do you have any lessons to add to the list?

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there!