Say What? Parents Edition

Written by Ivy | 15 May 2010

Regretfully this will be the last action you'll see from me for a few days. The charger for my laptop fell victim to a toddler tantrum and now doesn't work. So with only 3 minutes left of power, there is no time to waste.

This is a list of sick notes written by parents for their children... oh my...

• My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.
• Please excuse Amanda for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
• Dear school: please excuse John being absent on Jan 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.
• Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
• Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
• John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
• Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
• Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
• Chris will not be in school because he has an acre in his side.
• Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
• Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had diahre dyrea direathe the sh**s.
• Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.
• Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
• Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
• I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wears.
• Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday. We thought it was Sunday.
• Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
• My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines.
• Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
• Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
• Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
• Please excuse Brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.
• Tina was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache, and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever, and sore throat. Her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.